Thursday, July 20, 2006

Sorry about the lack of postings lately..

Just an FYI to explain why I haven't posted much lately.

My dear father passed away on April 7th, he was 82.

This is my second experience with a family member dying, but the first time (my oldest brother) didn't seem as 'real' because he stayed away from the family most of his life and my letters to him were never passed along by my mother. The last time I saw him I think I was around 13.

So losing my Dad hit me VERY hard. The whole reason for me moving to NH was to be close to him, and now that he's gone I feel really lost.

It's also hard because I'm surrounded now with most of his belongings that I don't feel worthy of having. I could have visited him a LOT more, I could have helped him a lot more, and I SHOULD have talked with him more about so many things (including our family's history)...

Yes, I know these are familiar 'regrets' to those who have experienced losing a parent, but for now I'm having to deal with the second guessing and guilt.

I've been starting to post 'comments' again at my favorite web sites, and before long I expect to return to posting here and my other blogs.

For me, posting my thoughts/comments on the web seems to help me keep whatever's left of my sanity in these troubling times. It really doesn't matter if it appears that few people read them (or COMMENT on them [here]), it works for me.

It's SO much better than just yelling back at my TV (my neighbors must LOVE that!).

As it stands now, the only MSM 'news' programming that I watch is "The Daily Show" and "Countdown w/ Keith Olberman", the rest are pathetic shows seemingly focused on the status-quo, rarely challenging theWhite Houses point of view/statements, treating the news like entertainment instead of questioning the false reality the White House press office (now with more FOX-itude!) trys to feed us.

PS: I have to apologize to my relatives for not keeping them posted on my father's condition. I was so overwhelmed during his last months I did very little. I feel like I let them down.

Unfortunately the same thing could happen again, soon. My mother suffers from altzheimers and is in a (wonderful) facility in Florence, Mass., but the disease is progressing (as it does) with no cure.

I'll always have some familiar sayings my father was fond of to help me through:
"This too shall pass",
"Keep smiling"..........

I miss Dad SOOOO much.

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