-- Thoughts about the jacking up of the TAC of so many cannabis [FLOWER] strains and the damage that it does --

 The focus of retailers/growers on super-high TAC percentages ruins the buzz (and actually changes it for many* people).

It's the difference between being able to enjoy a beautiful drive through spectacular scenery (at/around the speed limit) versus experiencing it at a hundred miles an hour.

Jacking up the THC/TAC % in strains that used to be much lower (which is most strains) just raises the bar higher than it should be.

These days if you want/need a higher TAC % we can buy either concentrates or vape cartridges.

If this trend continues everything will be 2-hit weed (and how many people will be doing that?). 

The subtleties are lost, and the detail is instead a blur (if more than a couple hits are taken).

Or instead of cannabis, compare it to going out for a few beers with friends. There's plenty of time to relax with friends and sip on beers. But instead of beers, you're doing shots.

I've been smoking weed since 1968. I can handle anything you put in front of me, but it is incredibly important to keep most TAC percentages in the <20% - 25% range to protect the full range of experiences possible.

The fact that so many people don't seem to recognize this fact is troubling to me, and hopefully, I can persuade some of them/you of the benefits of lower percentages in general, and the benefits for others, even if you yourself don't want them.

*Both vapers and smokers

If you are wondering why there are so many security/PII breaches this is one

 All I wanted to do was purchase an item from the same online storefront I purchased a similar item from a few weeks ago.

During the process of 'age verification' (this time) I was again asked to provide my *actual* birthdate. This previous time I provided one that was a day or so away from my actual birthdate (for obvious security/PII reasons) as this is a third-party service, and because...WTF this is against everything I've been writing about for years since my security blog for the Concord Monitor. It's against best practices (security-wise).

As I said a few weeks ago I purchased a similar item from Arizer, and in the process used a close-but-not-exact birthdate which is typical of how I approach sites that ask for my exact age. I'm not lying in any material way that affects the purpose of the 'age verify' and I am protecting my PII. Today however was a bridge too far.

Today I was presented with a message to provide an image of my driver's license and send [it] to this 3rd-party 'service'. I started to comply but thought better of it after the first 'photo' was rejected. I called their support # but ended hanging up after I said "I'm sixty-five goddam years old" and the woman told me not to swear at her (I was holding my tongue). So I decided to send a support message to Arizer, telling them the story and voicing my opposition to this intrusive and serious Pll/security FAIL Oh, and also the fact that they'd just sold me an item without my exact birthdate and no one died, no laws were broken, my PII was kept private and we all lived quite happily after... until I wanted to spend another $150+ on their site, but this time with the [potential] added price of my PII.

After this incident I decided to do a Google search for "security question: Should I give out my birthdate to purchase something"? Take a look - 

IF there are state/federal regulations that mandate exact birthdates they need to be changed with common-sense legislation to protect citizens' PII while controlling underage persons with a different (non-invasive) method.

A Quick Recap of the Past Year or So

 The past couple of years seems like a blur as I begin to recall them. 

I'll start with when I decided to stop all my meds except for my antidepressants. I was so sick of all the needle sticks and side effects, and this was the early days of the pandemic when doctors' offices were becoming empty and I hadn't had any communication with the doctor for many months.

I can't recall the details at all, but things seemed fine as far as I could tell.

Around [?] the same time Massachusetts legalized cannabis and I started consuming it as an adult recreational consumer. That was when I decided to lose weight. I was around 220 lbs and the extra weight was causing me serious health problems.

I decided to cut out all the junk foods I'd been eating. The chips and diet coke and so many other snacks needed to go. So that's what I did. I limited my 'snacks' to saltine crackers (with natural peanut butter / salsa). Water became my main drink of choice. I started losing weight and it continued until 2021 when my skin started itching all over and I was turning yellow (which I didn't notice for quite a while, then ignored foolishly). An acquaintance finally persuaded me to go to the doctor about it and that's when we discovered that I had a big problem with my liver. It had clogged up so badly that doctors had to insert a couple of stents in my bile ducts so [it] could start draining and we could start eliminating all the bile salts in my skin that were making me itch.

When they did some scans to see what was going on they discovered that I had pancreatic cancer (stage ll). At that point, I was getting close to my weight goal but suddenly dropped another 10+ lbs. I eventually started chemo and continued that for 5-6 2 week cycles. Chemo was rough, the nausea/sweating was overwhelming during the in-hospital chemo sessions and they couldn't fix it with other drugs.

Then one night I woke up to go to the bathroom. At the same time, I was having a stroke but I didn't realize it. I went to call for help later but the wireless pendant I'd been given couldn't connect... I ended up calling for help using my landline. Fortunately, the stroke was on my non-dominant side and 6 mos later I've recovered *most* of my capabilities but I've lost fine motor control of my left hand and also most of my (former) musical abilities, including thought and vocalizing (and of course guitar fingering).

The stroke was evidently caused by a blood clot caused because the lack of pumping strength of my heart which is around 30% of normal and atrial fibrillation (and something about a hole in my heart that should have closed up as I grew but didn't). There's also a possibility that chemo weakened my heart further.

I had stopped chemo because of the side effects and thoughts of long-term damage ruining any quality of life during the 2-5 years I possibly have. I had decided to go ahead with surgery, but because of the stroke that was not possible. It's still not possible because of my heart issues (ongoing treatment to strengthen the heart muscle). So I'm in limbo right now.

A couple of years earlier I'd gotten my medical cannabis certification. Cannabis has helped so much. During the chemo (at-home) I found that I didn't need to take most of the anti-nausea medications I was given. They were successfully replaced by cannabis for easing both nausea and the lack of appetite.

All this happened in the middle of an ongoing pandemic. As far as my former medications go, all the diabetes meds are no longer necessary as my A1c is back to normal. The medication for acid reflux that I'd been taking for 10 years is no longer necessary and the only meds I'm taking now are Lisinopril, Atorvastatin, Ecotrin, and Paxil (and of course dry vaped cannabis).

Weight chart from MyNetDiary

If you look at the current part of the graph it shows that I've maintained my weight between 155 and 160 to this day.

I believe that cannabis has helped me to maintain thoughtful eating habits, and (mostly) keep my mental health stable throughout the pandemic and the insane political climate both here and abroad.

That's enough for now. Next time I might get into my recent embarrassing freakouts on Twitter. I need to familiarize myself all over again with Blogger so it doesn't take me so long to use (like inserting photos/video).

- Thanks for reading

This IS a Threat

I swear, one of these days I'm going to come back here and actually write something (and then you'll be sorry).

Does This Thing Still Work?

In case you haven't noticed I haven't been around my blogs for quite a long time. 
What's that? You hadn't noticed? You're just here by accident or maybe you're simply clicking/tapping around one of my bios somewhere on some neglected profile page...

Well fine, no worries. I just wanted to say that I see that some blog-cleaning is in order before I start posting again. Things need to be updated here (kinda like your vacation cabin that's been sitting untouched since before you took that spontaneous road trip, went hiking, hit your head, got amnesia, and spent a couple of years wandering the woods of Maine until you woke up and realized that it was all a strange dream). Or WAS it?
Outdated magazines, stale crackers, and the refrigerator needs a hazmat team...

Still, the part about things needing to be updated is all too real. Websites listed that I no longer read or don't even exist anymore, and software that's been abandoned or I've stopped using. Like that family of red squirrels that have taken over the pantry, they need to go. 

Too ManyDead Brain Cells Are Not Conducive To Good Writing

Wow this is hard..

It's 10:00 am on Saturday morning. I'm starting to put together my first blog post in two years and I'm sitting here with a brain feeling like it's filled with molasses. Thoughts that should flow, or at least dribble out are only coming out in slow sticky drips.

This is not new by any means. For years now I've struggled during the process of writing.
Losing thoughts or my entire train of thought as soon as I encounter the next descriptive word that's playing hide-and-seek with my brain, or being unable to remember how the punctuation or grammar should go.

Part of the process to deal with this has been going into the thesaurus and searching through sometimes multiple (here's a good example of struggling for a word that should take seconds to decide on but may take 5-20 minutes now, and may lead to me forgetting what I was originally trying to say. "tangents" is the only word that came to me but I'm sure that there's another word that's much better, that fits what I'm describing. What I need is an app where I can describe what I'm trying to say and have it produce some choices for me. I seem to recall something like that where you could type in some words and it would kind of distill your input, hopefully providing the word or phrase you were looking for.). See what I did there? In the process of trying to explain, one thing led to another, and the next thing you know 30+ minutes have passed. 
Tangents was an appropriate word. I want to go from A to B but along that path I end up taking multiple side trips, and when searching for words in a thesaurus the words are all hyperlinked so I might open up multiple browser tabs from the original word, then the same thing can happen from any one of those other words. To make it more distracting, sometimes I just get interested in some of the other words I encounter!

Now many writers will not worry about fine tuning things in the first draft and just concentrate on getting their thoughts down without restricting the flow. In my case I would likely never get back to finish them because I can't follow any structured, organized schedule. I've learned that the way I get things done (when possible) is to complete them in one shot, and if that means working on a blog post all day & into the night that's what I have to do. The times I do end up working into the night have a way of ending sloppily though. Fatigue sets in and that's that. It would be so nice to be able to pick up where I left off the next day or even have multiple projects going but these days I consider myself fortunate to even feel like writing (at least more than 140 characters at a time).

Writing, in part, has been a way for me and so many others to achieve a small level of control during stressful times. My need for things to be correct, lined up and in order detract from that control because I realize that my writing skills, specifically my grammar and punctuation (and likely other areas that I'm not even aware of) are sloppy and are much lower than I would like them to be.
I simply have lost the ability to learn anything new (and retain it) unless it's something I can apply on a daily basis, and since there are very few things I do regularly these days learning new skills is rare.
It would be so helpful if I had someone to proofread and edit my writing, however ever since my father, then mother died within a short time of each other, I have lived a very solitary life and do everything alone. The whole technology revolution (at least since the desktop computer & Internet) has been something I've tried to learn on my own (not having any 'tech' friends that I could ask questions or collaborate with). I did fairly well keeping up with most of the advances and even authored a consumer-level security (alerts & advice) blog in a section of my local paper the Concord Monitor. But things like recurring depression and family matters started eroding my memory and intellectual abilities to the point that I wasn't able to do all the work necessary to keep up with all the news.
Without having someone 'live' to ask questions to about punctuation or grammar (as opposed to websites like "Grammar Girl"), or someone to check/correct things, I kind of just ended up doing what I can with what I've got.

I almost completely stopped writing anything for a while during the time of their deaths. I was diagnosed with Diabetes, Sleep Apnea and a few other things. Those things, combined with pre-existing mental health and neurological problems, all the medications and their side-effects, along with the physical effects of disorders like apnea, high cholesterol and diabetes have had over the years, conspired to starve my brain cells of oxygen. 
Lately, while my diabetes and cholesterol is under better control than it has been in years, the Sleep Apnea has increased to a scary level. My brain (and other organs) is being starved of oxygen at night and the daytime starts out with me being very spaced out, not getting much clearer over the day.
It's now 1:41 pm and as I was writing that last sentence my mind just took another trip into the void for a few seconds..

Despite all that I somehow wrote these 955 words in the last four hours..

I will try to do better than one post every two years. Next will be a new post over at The Chesterfield Dispatch (with lots of photos and possibly video in the future!).

Thanks for reading.

Oh Microsoft, why do you...(& why can't you, why don't you) - aka; The ongoing struggle to get and/or understand Msft "help".

To start with I want to say that Microsoft is far from the only one that makes using their software harder than it has to be, but they do it *so* well..
                                   _______________________________________

Today I was getting caught up on my email and was reading a SANS newsletter that included an entry:

Title: Microsoft reissues windows patches that previously caused blue screens

Description: Microsoft released updates to patch 2982791 to resolve the
bluescreen issues.  Microsoft strongly suggests all customers uninstall
patch 2982791 and install the updated patch, 2993651.

Reference:  https://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/library/security/ms14-045.aspx
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/2982791

                                   _______________________________________

- So, I look in my installed updates and I see both. "updated patch, 2993651" is installed, and "patch 2982791" is also.. 

My first question is: Is there a reason that MS automatic updates didn't uninstall "patch 2982791" before installing "updated patch, 2993651"?

Then I read through the MS reference information related to the issue..
Instead of clarification what I find is more confusing (and conflicting) information.

In the "Update FAQ" section it says: "Customers do not need to uninstall the expired 2982791 update before applying the 2993651 update; however, Microsoft strongly recommends it.
Customers who do not remove the expired update will retain a listing for 2982791 under installed updates in Control Panel."

And in another area is the boilerplate: "Most customers have automatic updating enabled and will not need to take any action because this security update will be downloaded and installed automatically."

Tell me how Automatic Updates helped me in this case..

                 

OK, so I am a 'customer who has automatic updating enabled...' and as so; "... will not need to take any action because this security update will be downloaded and installed automatically.", right? (underline added by me)

"[...] will not need to take any action [...]" 

-- OK fine, but what about where you say "Customers do not need to uninstall the expired 2982791 update before applying the 2993651 update; however, Microsoft strongly recommends it."  (underline added by me).

If you 'strongly recommend' it then why didn't you do that as part of your "automatic" updates?
If there was some technical reason that precluded doing that you don't mention it, neither do you say anything about whether or not to uninstall 2982791 if, as in this case, it's still installed after the 2993651 update.

You say "Customers who do not remove the expired update will retain a listing for 2982791 under installed updates in Control Panel.", but nothing is said about any issues that may arise as a result of leaving it.

It just doesn't make sense to me that you would make such a "strong" recommendation yet leave customers like me hanging like this. On the other hand it hardly surprises me, and one more time I'm left cursing Microsoft.

The Security Consequences Of Mozilla's Rapid Release Schedule

'Mascot' image from the Mozilla ADD-ONS Blog

Continuing on a topic from my last post I want to focus on the security threat created by the 'rapid release' schedule the Firefox browser is now on.

I won't dispute the positive aspects of this move for Mozilla, however from a security standpoint it creates multiple hazards. A 'Ready or not, here we come' dictum may be OK in some cases, but it's a recipe for trouble when it comes to security.

Like it or not Mozilla bears the responsibility for not just it's browser alone, but also for taking into consideration the extended 'technosystem' of add-ons that have a somewhat symbiotic relationship with Firefox. They also have a responsibility to contribute to overall Internet security.

When so many of their users have security software that either integrates with or is a standalone 'add-on' to Firefox (and these users are to be commended for contributing to the overall security of the Internet),  rushing ahead and leaving them vulnerable is irresponsible and thoughtless.

Rushing to get something done often results in mistakes. You can rush things and get your product out first, but it rarely results in a quality product (and in this case you can add "secure" to that).

I realize that Mozilla can't simply wait until every 3rd-party piece of software is updated on their own schedule. There has to be some form of cooperative effort to find a middle ground however.

The consequences of the current situation are giving even more ground to the security threats confronting Firefox users. You wouldn't leave your children home alone (before the sitter gets there) while you go to work, and a wilderness guide wouldn't forge ahead and leave people behind to fend for themselves.... would you?

As people mature they learn to consider the consequences of their actions and hopefully become less self-centered. I realize that many businesses don't act this way, but good ones do (in varying degrees) and those get my respect (and patronage).

This world needs more cooperation not less.

Edit/add [8/20/2011 1:05 PM]:

I left out (in my haste!) the people on the security software side of the equation who need to do their part by starting their update process as soon as they can. They too have a responsibility to work in cooperation with Mozilla so both end up with a reliable product and safer users.

Caught In The Middle

Numerous issues are impacting me that have me caught in the middle and [nearly?] powerless to change (at least in the near-term). The first two affect many people, not just myself.

The first is the recent (and ongoing) fight over the debt ceiling and budget. I and many people like me that are living solely on their Social Security/Disability income had to wait literally until the last moment, not knowing if they could pay their bills. You know, little things like rent, utilities, food & medications..

The right-wing's lack of concern for some of the more vulnerable citizens is disheartening, and the notable favoritism shown towards the upper class and corporations combined with their manifest contempt of those in need is despicable. I want to mention that the silence ("willful ignorance"?) on this subject by vast majority of the media is disgraceful, and will be looked back on (along with many other examples) as a major failure of the Fourth Estate during this time in our nation's history. The abdication of power and responsibility by this Fourth Estate has enabled  those with selfish and dangerous ambitions to take our country in a direction far from the ideals so thoughtfully laid out by our Founding Fathers.

___________________________________________

Caught between Mozilla - Firefox and security software

Since Mozilla started it's rapid release schedule for the Firefox browser many of the security add-ons & extensions I rely on haven't been updated to work with the current version (at the time of this post Firefox 6.0 has just been released). Previously, security software companies such as AVG (LinkScanner), Symantec-Norton, M86 Security (SecureBrowsing) and others had plenty of time between 'major releases' of Firefox to update their software (so it will work with whatever changes the new version of Firefox has).

That time has been drastically cut since this 'rapid release' initiative began.

This is from the "Mozilla Firefox: Development Process" page:

"Firefox uses a schedule-driven process, where releases take place at regular intervals. That means each release happens regardless of whether a given feature is ready, and releases are not delayed to wait for a feature to stabilize. The goal of the process is to provide regular improvements to users without disrupting longer term work."

- Further down the page:

Security Releases

"This proposal makes security updates occur along with Firefox releases, meaning we'll no longer be maintaining old branches. Having security branches for each major update is untenable if we release as often as we aim to."

-----------------

Extension Compatibility 

"Extension compatibility is the trickiest part of the transition. In particular, it's not what the policy should be when a user has extensions that are incompatible with a new Firefox release. Each release will have at least 12 weeks to identify extensions that are no longer working, but this issue will be complicated."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

On the Future Release Blog there's a post named "Every Six Weeks".

"We’re studying the effects of the process carefully; it’s a big change and we will be flexible in our approach as new information comes in. We may decide that 6 weeks is the wrong interval, for instance, though it’s worth remembering that Firefox maintenance releases have been released on 6-8 week intervals for years, and sometimes included major changes. We’re also paying close attention to the impacts this cycle has on our ecosystem of add-ons, plugins, and other 3rd party software that interacts with Firefox. We’re working with large organizations, too, to understand how rapid release can fit into their software deployment systems."

"Whatever adjustments we make, it’s clear that rapid release is a major improvement in our ability to respond to the needs of our users and the web. Every 6 weeks we have a new Firefox to evaluate and, unless some surprising and irreconcilable breakage is discovered, release to the world. No one will have to wait a year for the developer scratchpad now in Beta, or the massive memory and performance improvements already on Aurora, or the slick tab management animations soon to land on Nightly. Rapid release is already paying dividends, and we’re just getting started."

Johnathan Nightingale
Director of Firefox Engineering"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now as far as the security software (companies) side of things, I haven't read any comments directly from them about this issue. 

 However:

I have heard directly from M86 Security after I posted a comment on Twitter about their "SecureBrowsing" browser add-on:

---------------------------
@M86Security Firefox just updated to v5. When will your #SecureBrowsing plug-in be updated?
(Posted 22 Jun)
---------------------------

Their reply:

---------------------------
@TRDaggett We do not have a definitive date at this time, as we are currently reviewing Firefox 5. We'll keep you posted
(Posted 27 Jun)
---------------------------

It's now August 17th and Firefox 6.0 has now been released.... and if you go to the M86 SecureBrowsing (FAQ) page it says:

--------------------------------------------------------
5. Q: Where will SecureBrowsing work?
    A: SecureBrowsing has been designed to work on the most commonly-used Internet tools.
         The current version of M86 SecureBrowsing supports the following:

 Web Browsers:

• Microsoft Internet Explorer 6.0, 7.0, 8.0 and 9.0
• Mozilla Firefox 3.x and 4.0
• Google Chrome 10

 ------------------------------------------------------

 BTW, Google Chrome's current version is 13x.

Despite the fact that @M86Security told me "We'll keep you posted", I've heard nothing from them [to date]. So if they were "reviewing Firefox 5" and still haven't gotten back to me by the release of Firefox 6..... 

Thoughts:

1.) They don't care enough about their users to (proactively) keep them informed.

2.) They're not able to keep their SecureBrowsing product updated (for 2 major browsers) in a timely manner leaving those users unprotected.

3.) M86 Security SecureBrowsing needs to append the FAQ page "Web Browser" information with a note regarding future updates to Firefox and Chrome or remove them from the list.

(Make a decision M86 Security. Then please inform your users.)

------------------------------------------

I also use the (free to Comcast Internet customers) Norton Security Suite. This version complicates the update issue even further because it's different from both Norton Internet Security and Norton 360 and [probably] has it's own 'team' of people working on it's updates (including various browser add-ons).

I noticed that if I open up the Norton interface on my desktop and click on Identity Protection [View Details] it says that Norton Safe Web and Identity Safe are both on and working!

I called the Norton Security Suite support folks today and was told that they were working on the browser compatibility updates but they wouldn't provide any time table as to when they would be released. I want to mention that the support call must have gone to India because there was a noticeable delay and the woman was very hard to understand, So the combination of those two factors made for a poor quality support call (which I have to say has not been the case with most of my previous support calls involving outsourced support centers in India). It was unfortunate that I was already irritated by several factors including the fact that this was my second call to Comcast support about this matter. The first customer tech support person tried to transfer me to Norton support but used the wrong number, aborted, came back to tell me what she did, and then on the second attempt ended up transferring me to Netgear support!

------------------------------------------------------

Finally, AVG LinkScanner (which I've used for years, since before AVG bought them out and ruined incorporated LinkScanner into their products) partially works with Firefox 6.0 but the feature that checks web [page] links and search results (like Google) hasn't been updated yet. AVG has been quite a bit quicker than Norton to update their Firefox add-ons. I can still use the AVG Toolbar to search via the AVG secure search feature or open the desktop LinkScanner interface and enter (and scan) a URL manually. It's not as convenient, but it adds a valuable security resource to my kit.

------------------------------------------------------

Conclusion: 

Mozilla's rapid release schedule has created a security issue for Firefox users who rely on various security add-ons and extensions. I'm not saying that the problem is solely because of the faster schedule though. Other security add-ons (like Giorgio Maone's "NoScript" and Wladimir Palant's "Adblock Plus" ) have kept pace, but it seems likely that the security software produced by the bigger security companies has a much different (and complicated) process that it has to go through. A good analogy is probably that of an aircraft carrier vs. a Coast Guard cutter.

As I recall after Firefox version 5.0 was released my Norton Toolbar* and IPS 'broke' and after a few weeks some protection features (like search results) were updated but the toolbar wasn't (and still hasn't been updated).

Ultimately I hope to see [at least] two things happen. Security software companies who's products integrate with Firefox (and Google Chrome) will adapt to a faster update schedule, and Mozilla will adapt their release schedule to better enable security add-on software to stay current (and 'on the job'!). Rapid release schedules are great but not if it results in leaving your users vulnerable. 

Best practices call for a 'layered' approach to security. We need to work together as much as possible to increase Internet security.

*The Norton Toolbar includes the Identity Protection features like the 'Identity Safe' that I used daily. [Among other things] It securely stored passwords for websites and automatically logged me in to those sites. It also held 'cards' that I could fill with customized identity information which in turn could be automatically entered into forms on web pages.

On Newspapers & Paywalls

There are some basic requirements that must be met before I'll consider paying for online news. In my case it's [specifically] the Concord Monitor.

First let me preface this by explaining that I survive solely on my disability check from Social Security each month (which hasn't increased for a year or two, and isn't likely to next year either). So every expense I incur comes out of a fixed amount. I have to consider the value of every cent spent and also weigh it against every other expenditure. And despite what the CPI* indicates, the cost of many of these are going up.

So for me to take a portion of this [shrinking] pie and spend it on the local newspaper there has to be:

1. Exclusive content that I value and is well written, informative, complete & accurate.

2. A well laid out & easy to navigate website.

3. A website that is secure and well maintained (best security practices incl. 3rd-party audits/pen testing).

4. Also a secure payment system utilizing the best security available to protect customers including full encryption of transactions and storage of customer data. Also requiring the same of 3rd-party payment processors (or *other*) are used.

5. Plenty of local content.

6. Lots of compelling photography.

7. Blogs (but EXCLUDING political** blogs!)

I'd also like to see a local 'Technology' section, possibly getting local experts to contribute regularly with advice & tips (that could even be done/sold? [tastefully] as 'Adver-Tips') and regular 'cybersecurity' information (similar to my [former] BlogsNH blog*** "TechAlert"), because caring about computer & Internet safety needs to be force-fed (subtly) to the public at every opportunity.

Finally, even though it's expensive and time consuming (and takes a certain amount of institutional intestinal fortitude), some investigative journalism would be nice to see. Frankly I see too much ...... (trying to think of the right word[s]) .. quick, superficial, non-confrontational articles, and I'm trying to recall the last time I read anything that exposed some serious wrongdoing or corruption concerning local public officials, organizations or businesses. To be fair, my memory is awful and I'm sure there have been some, but we both know the larger percentage goes unreported (and/or undiscovered).

I'm going to give the Monitor a shot and see how it goes, although I hope that I can pay 'in person' instead of online. I've been victim of numerous database breaches over the years including Concord Hospital, the VA, Student Loans, and most recently the Sony PlayStation Network (where thankfully I chose to use their prepaid cards instead of a credit/debit card). I hope they consider this option and develop a way of implementing it.

- BTW, I hope that it's only the AP [text] content the Monitor's opting not to use and not Jim Cole's outstanding photography!

_____________________________

* Consumer Price Index

** Too divisive & (many of) the regular 'article' comments are *more* than enough negativity/fringe (especially for the moderators).

*** This is the page you see if you look today.. Hey Clay, I must have missed your alert to save our blogs before they weren't available anymore? (I'm glad that I saved most of mine and didn't leave it to chance..).

A Long Winter's Nap

ZZzzzzzzzz -------------

Napping is what I seem to be doing the majority of the time these days. Not by choice mind you, but finding the energy and motivation to do much of anything has been a struggle over the past months.

As evidenced by my previous post my cognitive abilities are much less than they were even at the beginning of this year. Composing posts used to take a long time, mainly because I have a hard time coming up with the precise words I want to use (in my mind I know what I want to say but the word is maddeningly elusive), but now the whole process has slowed greatly.

Still, every once in a while I'm sharper, I have energy, and actually feel like getting things done and/or getting out of my apartment. When it happens I try to take advantage of it and get all the chores like cleaning (vacuuming, dusting, laundry, kitchen & bath) done. Before the effects of diabetes complicated things I would do a lot of writing during these periods, but since then it's like someone opened up my brain and poured molasses inside (this post took me over 3 hrs to complete).

_______________________________________

I'm posting this because I feel like I need to let people know why my activity has been even slower than usual (and more disjointed) and kind of depressing. I really want to post a bunch of much more positive and interesting things, honest! 

_______________________________________

It's funny (not really, but..) when I lay down for a nap my mind starts thinking about all kinds of things. It's much more focused than when I'm up and about. But if I try to write down notes or even put it on tape I can't get past the first one! The process of doing that seems to disrupt the original thoughts (like a computer log set so low that it 'overwrites' itself). If there was a way of recording thoughts (passively) directly from my brain it would be such a help. I'd be willing to bet that in the future it will be possible, and by the time that happens getting it from a clinical/research setting to an affordable consumer device will be the easy part.

Now that I think about it, by the time [that] is possible scientists should have a much clearer picture of how brain chemistry works, hopefully developing much more effective treatments for things like depression, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, etc.. Perhaps some combination of gene and neurogenesis treatment..

______________________

So now, tomorrow I go to talk about changing primary care physician and working on a more effective personal care plan (is that what it's called?) between health care providers and myself.

I need some kind of support 'cause all this is really hard to accomplish and deal with on my own..... I don't even have a pet

NOTE TO SELF: Make your next post much more positive!

Depression, Doctors, Society and Me

I just watched a program on PBS from WGBH Boston called "Depression: Out of the Shadows" that was excellent. Afterward though I started to get frustrated and angry about so many things.

As I watched this program, like all the others that I've seen over the years so much of what I see & hear hits home for me and yet so much of it leaves me angry.

Many of the things that get me angry are related to the situation I find myself in here in Concord, New Hampshire. When I hear about people trying several medications before they find the one that works best for them, I wonder why when I asked my present primary care physician about the possibility of trying alternatives or additional medications that are available to address some of the symptoms that I have he simply said "no".

In addition to that, when I hear about people actually being given a diagnosis for what they're experiencing I ask myself why I was refused that same thing when I told the doctor I'd been seeing that I wanted to be evaluated and 'diagnosed'. He also said "no". Not only did he say he couldn't/wouldn't be able to diagnose me, he stated that 'it isn't going to do any good for you to come in here and tell your stories' (or something to that effect). Note: He has since denied saying that after I mentioned it to others in the same facility (though I assumed was in confidence when I did). He also nearly fell asleep (he got that glazed eye, disinterested look as I was going over the results of the task he gave me during the previous visit) during what I decided was our final session.

At this point I should provide some background history.. I'm living on Social Security Disability and have been for around 10 years. As such my choices for healthcare are quite limited and my services are provided by the Family Health Center at Concord Hospital. For the first several years all the doctors I had were in their final year of their residencies and as such they changed about every year and a half. The level of care they provided was very good but over time became disjointed. I also had a deep sense of loss when they left and I had to develop trust in someone new knowing that they too would leave all too soon. I eventually voiced my concerns about this and a year or so my 'new' doctor was an established middle-aged physician.

At first I was hopeful, thinking that I would now have some continuity in my care. I prepared for my first visit assuming that he would have looked over my medical history and have some kind of 'Care Plan' in mind. I'd recently turned 50 a while back and assumed that among other things he'd bring up the usual tests appropriate for men that age (especially since my father had prostate cancer and heart disease). Well it quickly became apparent that he wasn't aware of my health history (so much so that I asked him if he'd even looked at it) and one of the first things he asked was how I'd feel about him taking me off my antidepressant medication!

It hasn't gotten any better since then. When I mentioned that I bought a home automatic blood pressure unit (the kind with an electric pump) he pooh-poohed the idea saying that it would just make me get too fixated on the readings. On another occasion when I asked him if I would benefit from getting out in the sun more (I rarely leave my apartment and would obviously benefit from some sunlight & fresh air) he said it wasn't a good idea citing the dangers of over-exposure.. And one other incident I need to mention is when I went to see him about an embarrassing hemorrhoid issue (after discussing my need for a prostate exam during the previous visit that I'd been avoiding), I was there, pants-down and bent over the examining table (what better time to do the prostate exam?) but he said no, he'd do that at another time.... he hasn't mentioned the exam since and I'm now 53. I guess he's waiting for me to 'present' symptoms before he finally gets to it?

It seems like every time I did something that a well-informed patient is encouraged to be/do it was met with the same attitude of  'I'm the doctor', don't challenge my authority or have any ideas of your own.
So what I'm getting at is while I'm doing my part in being a responsible patient he's meeting that with what I can only describe as an air of disdain or doctor's aloofness? I haven't had an actual 'physical' examination for 5-10 years, and  many of the symptoms I've mentioned during visits over those years read like a pamphlet for the early warning signs of diabetes (lower leg pain/pressure, light headedness, frequent urination, excessive thirst, numbness in the toes and then frostbite-like symptoms one winter). Nothing was done about them or the borderline A1c test back when action could have been taken to perhaps prevent full-blown diabetes, which I was recently diagnosed with earlier this year.

Without health insurance I can't simply 'find another doctor', and the psychiatrist I spoke of there at Family Health only took me back as a patient because there weren't any others there available to see me (I was told). So I feel stuck with a doctor who I don't feel does his job well and a therapist who seems disinterested at best.

Now I haven't even mentioned the issue of my chronic depression and related issues (that I need to have diagnosed once and for all so they can be addressed and properly treated) and the issue of a 'Permanent Disability' form for Sallie Mae that's supposed to be filled out by my 'Primary Care Physician'. But guess what? My doctor says he doesn't feel like he's qualified to fill it out despite the fact that it states on the form 'To be filled out by your Primary Care Physician'. He wants it filled out by the psychiatrist.... yeah, the same one that doesn't see the point in me 'just coming in and telling my stories' (aka Talk therapy). The result is that Sallie Mae is calling sometimes 8 times a day and I'm not answering the calls because I have no news for them, and besides that they've hung up on me, they call again the same day that I just called them and talked to them, one caller doesn't seem to know that any of the others already spoke to me, and every time I have to go through the SAME information!

Now there's so much 'background' information to all of this that I can't include it here, but I was 'recruited' by the Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale back in 1993-4 back when I had a decent job working for a great family printing company. Unfortunately the economy and the company's business were both slowing down and we had to accept a pay cut. My brother and his family lived in Ft. Lauderdale and he encouraged me to come stay with them while studying photography (my lifelong dream) at the Art Institute. The recruiter promised quick job placement upon graduation so I signed all the loan papers and started the 2-year program. I loved it and soon I was getting listed in some college directory for students (I wish I could recall the name) with GPAs in the highest levels. I was photographing Olympic divers, pro boxers and learning from some excellent 'teaching pros'. I was competing with other students some of whom were young with wealthy parents and had the best equipment & could afford the costs of all the 'extras' associated with studying photography in So. Florida.

Then one day I went to the financial aid dept. to pick up my regular financial aid check and was informed "The last check you received was supposed to last for 2 quarters" (this was the first I'd heard about that). When I went to my financial aid person they didn't know anything about it. Some time after that about 1 year into the program all financial aid stopped and no one could even tell me why! Around this same time the school was going through the process of improving their status so that credits earned would be transferable to other institutions which resulted in a loss of many excellent teachers because they didn't have the appropriate degrees. One of the impacts on my class was that an outstanding portrait photography teacher was let go and temporarily replaced by the head of the photography department who proceeded to teach the class mainly through the use of photocopied materials. Let's just say the cost of this program charged to students wasn't reflected by the quality of what we received in the classes..

I tried to earn money for school but it wasn't enough (and the job listings provided by the school's job placement office weren't nearly what was advertised by the recruiter) and eventually the fact that I'd given up my job in New Hampshire to follow my dream and having that pulled out from under me (financially) with absolutely no explanation, sent me into a deep depression that eventually prompted my brother to ask me to leave. My father who lived here in New Hampshire was suffering from heart failure and cancer at that time also so I moved back to be available to help him while he recovered.

At this point I'm going to end this long ramble and pick it up in another post.... - 'till then..

Oh yeah, I'm "Still Alive and Well ..."

Glucose meters

Yes I'm still here.. Despite the recent diagnosis of diabetes mellitus (type 2), the finger pricking, the insulin injections (& medication Metformin), and the associated change in lifestyle, I'm adapting .... slowly.

From a starting point of my 'A1C' at 15% and a blood glucose of 586, I'm now down to 8.2% (A1C) and my morning/fasting glucose measurements averaging 110. In fact just recently I had my first *low* fasting measurement of 67 (which I quickly got to 100 with a small glass of grapefruit juice).

The [hyperglycemic] effects on my brain & eyes have returned to "normal" (a matter of  opinion, I know..), and that's a relief! For a while I couldn't see well enough to do much of anything, and my brain was so *fuzzy* that I didn't feel like doing anything anyway. I've even regained some color in my toes although they're still constantly cold and cramp all the time (btw, is there such a thing as an electric blanket for just the foot of the bed?). I don't like wearing socks when I sleep, but I don't want to use a full-sized electric blanket.

I've just recently started to get back to checking my Twitter feed and posting comments occasionally but I'm finding that keeping up with email, Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, News etc. in addition to the new health maintenance tasks is often too much. Energy is one thing that's in short supply but I'm taking advantage of it when it's available.

I have grown to appreciate & rely on some of the many 'reminder' utilities available for the computer to keep track of bills, appointments and the like. Multiple alarm clocks help too.

One of the things I pictured in my mind when I was told that I'd have to take insulin was filling a syringe from a bottle of insulin kept in the fridge. Thankfully I was started on something called a "Flexpen", which is a pen-like device prefilled with insulin. All I have to do is screw on a tiny disposable needle and set the dosage! It's really simple. The hardest part was choosing an 'injection site' and remembering where the previous one was until I made myself a chart/grid and numbered the different locations so I could enter the location into a log.

On a less positive note, once I started researching diabetes (and my other issues like hypertension and family history of [that], depression, and Alzheimer's/dementia), the clinical research paints a fairly bleak & uncertain future. The combined 'risk factors' I have are all interconnected it seems.

I'm thinking that I definitely want to get as much accomplished as I can, while I can.. That'll be a challenge for a serious procrastinator like me! 

Thankfully my father had a saying that I've been able to embrace, especially since he passed away. "Keep smiling" (whether you feel like or not..) was something he always told me when I left his home. That and the ability to laugh at myself are so helpful in my solitary existence (and I've given myself plenty to laugh at lately).

I truly wish that the feeling of community and compassion that existed all too briefly after the attacks on 9/11 could be regained. The divisiveness and polarizing atmosphere that just seems to have grown exponentially over the years since then thanks in part to the extremists on the right and fanned by insensitive, dishonest & dangerous rhetoric spewed by the likes of Fox News-(in name only), Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage, the GOP, et al..

And I'll finish that thought with the failure of (the majority of) the 'media' to have the guts to truly do their job and point out the fraud & lies from the right instead of claiming some kind of  'equivalency' between the left and right messages. Bob Cesca says it well in his "Killing the False Equivalency 'Both Sides' Meme".

Does This Make Sense?

 The "Switch to Advanced Mode" (in blue) is circled. (Click on image to enlarge)

The 'Are You Sure?' warnings seem to be used everywhere else,
why not here?

- This is how it started:

The HP Hardware diagnosis/check was doing it's monthly check. 
I sat there watching it do it's thing for a while and noticed that there 
was a discrepancy between what the 'Running' progress meter 
was on and what the 'Progress' dialog box at the bottom of the 
window said was running.

At that time the PC's HDD (a Western Digital) and a USB
-connected external HDD (a Maxtor OneTouch) were being 
tested. When a test was being run on the Maxtor, the Progress 
dialog showed the ID for the Western Digital, and vice-versa.

- But that's not what this is about.

In an attempt to look into this further I clicked on the 
"Switch to Advanced Mode". I've worked with this program 
numerous times but apparently have never made this action 
before, because when I clicked on that option the program 
stopped and shut down! (Note that this program takes quite 
a while to run/complete.)

No warning, nothing..

That's what I writing about.

My thoughts immediately went to the countless times I've 
clicked to delete something, or to complete some other action, 
and a dialog box popped up asking a variation of 'Are you 
sure you want to do this?". 
It's aggravating, but appropriate for safety reasons to protect
inexperienced users.
I'm an experienced user so in general they're a nuisance,
but not always..

So I'm thinking.. What were the software designers/engineers 
thinking when they put a button/link that says "Switch to 
Advanced Mode" at the top of the program window, and left 
it active (not 'grayed-out'/inactive) while the program is working?

If clicking on something in your program results in the 
closing of the actively running program, don't you think 
the user ought to be warnedbefore completing the action? 

... end of rant

Why?

I'm talking about computer security and why some people are responsible and others not. I've written about this before, mostly in a BlogsNH/Concord Monitor Online blog called TechAlert. The reasons vary from person to person, but the two at the top of my list are laziness and apathy.

- Laziness because it takes some effort to learn how your computer works and what you need to do to protect it, and also the basic maintenance necessary to keep things like your security programs up to date. I should also add being attentive, both to how your system runs 'normally' so that you'll be alerted to events that might signal a malware infection, and also online where every web page or email could be compromised.  That's why I ended every blog post with a variation of "THINK -- BEFORE you click!"

Admittedly, nothing short of pulling the plug can guarantee you won't be hacked/infected, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't protect yourself by being informed & aware (and vigilant with a healthy dose of skepticism when it comes to unsolicited email). 

Videos or photos with "This is unbelievable!" or "You gotta see this!", and the ones about some celebrity caught naked, are typical bait to lure victims into a scammer's trap. This now includes any big celebrity (or other) news event including the recent earthquake in Haiti. If people are likely to be in a hurry to get information about a breaking event you can be sure that scammers will take advantage of the situation and use it as bait in spam email and in search engine results.

 

If an individual's security apathy just affected them it would be one thing, but it doesn't, and at some point in the future this widespread apathy will lead to something like an interruption of the power grid or air traffic control. As history has shown, often serious issues aren't addressed until after a disaster occurs. In this case I doubt anything short of prolonged widespread suffering through power/Internet outages (and intense peer pressure) will change people's behavior, and that might not be enough.. Legislation might be needed, but that will never come to pass because big business and their army of lobbyists control Congress, and requiring a license to connect a computer to the Internet would be good for overall security but bad for business. As we've seen, if Congress has a choice between what's good for the public vs what's good for big business (and the bottom line), money and influence wins most of the time.

You have to treat going online (which starts as soon as your computer connects to the Internet) like you're a spy walking through a dangerous city carrying a briefcase full of secret papers. Assume that you're being watched by people just waiting for you to make a mistake and let your guard down. Lazy or apathetic spies don't last long..

- Apathy is another shortcut to trouble. 'All I want to do is get online as fast as I can, download/watch that video, get through all this email, see that sexy pic, install this software..... All this 'security' stuff just gets in the way.'.

These two are related, and much of the time ignorance is in the mix right alongside. If you don't take the time to learn how to protect yourself, and you don't stay apprised of they daily warnings (that are freely available from people and organizations who work hard to gather and publish it) about vulnerabilities in software, hoaxes, compromised sites and other dangers, you're like a 'babe in the woods'.

The side effect of people ignoring security and getting their computers infected is that the rest of us suffer because of them. They get infected with malware that makes their computer(s) part of a huge group of computers controlled by one group of bad guys (and there are lots of these groups), who then 'rent' this powerful group of combined computers to other bad guys who can then attack banks, power companies, web sites, government computers, and the list goes on.. Sometimes they block a giant corporation's computer systems and hold it for ransom until they're paid millions of dollars. Oil companies to grocery chains secretly pay these ransoms adding millions/billions to their bottom lines, and who do you think ends up paying for it?

It's the equivalent of leaving all of your doors unlocked and your car unlocked in a parking lot with the keys on the seat, only worse.

These three traits are so prevalent that companies like Microsoft design their operating systems to cater to them and many security software companies do the same. It seems that so many people are so lazy that bothering them with anything that takes a second or two out of their precious time, or is 'too complicated', affects sales..

Think of the USA as a computer and these lazy/apathetic/ignorant people as the ones in charge of operating the government and taking care of our security, health, and safety.... 'nuff said. So to those I'm describing, wake up, grow up, get off your arses, do your part to help keep us all safer!

  -------------------------------------------------------------

Now a personal note..

Researching and writing a weekly security blog is (or was) a lot of work. When you dedicate your time and effort for the good of others you'd like to think you're making a positive difference. [I'd] like to think some people are heeding my calls for taking security more seriously and putting more effort into personal computer security awareness. Otherwise why should *I* make the effort? The responsible folks who give security the appropriate attention aren't the ones I write for (for the most part), although I did hope the security alerts I posted added some value to the readers of the Concord Monitor Online.

During the time I was actively writing the TechAlert blog I told my family (my brother and his wife & child in Florida) about it and told them to check it out. I never got any feedback good/bad about it. When asked they said they'd 'get around to it but things were hectic..'.

That was over a year (or three?) ago. Last week my niece asked me if I'd heard of something called "Internet Security 2010" and said that her mother possibly got scammed by it. I immediately recognized the typical 'generic'-type name that all the rogue (read Fake & Infected) security software programs use to fool the unaware. I did some research and found a computer help forum with specific instructions on how to remove it (and additional helpful information) then sent my niece the URL link with an offer to assist if needed. Two days later after hearing nothing I asked how it was going. My niece said the credit card company voided the transaction but the computer 'was a real mess'. To date I haven't had any request for help or advice.

A couple of things are bothersome about this.. The first thing that comes to mind is that if my sister-in-law had bothered to visit (and learn from) my blog she would have been aware of things like 'rogue security software' and hopefully not fallen for whatever scam technique she fell for. The second thing is that it doesn't appear that anything has changed despite this incident. If you don't learn how you got infected you're bound to get infected again.

Similar to STDs, if your computer habits are promiscuous and you don't know how to protect yourself you can expect trouble, and that includes infecting others. That's just plain irresponsible behavior.

So if my own family (who are otherwise highly intelligent people) don't bother to take my advice...........

Am I just wasting my time?

  --------------------------------------------------------

Please don't be part of the problem. Help be part of the solution.

And remember....

Always THINK before you click!