Friday, September 14, 2007

Streams currently running...(ITB)

Number one, Novartis cut me out of their [$5 copay] assistance program with absolutely no warning so I haven't been able to take my Ritalin for around a month and I have no idea how to come up with the $300+ Wal-Mart wants for 100 pills.
Novartis is demanding that I provide a 'refusal letter' from Medicare part-D (which I can't afford) for them to continue providing assistance (in stark contrast to Novartis ads and those of the Prescription Assistance people [with the bus and the TV personality/shill for the drug companies Montel Williams]).
I find it interesting how their stated income limit (in the letter) is exactly the amount I get each month from Social Security...

Update: The real 'prescription assistance' people (the wonderful women at my local hospital) tell me that drug companies stopping their assistance with no warning has become commonplace lately!
Since the Bush administration gave drug companies the 'gift' of "Medicare Part-D" legislation it's been used as an excuse to drop needy patients while BS'ing the public with misleading advertisements. THIS is the culture that Bush&Co brought to Washington DC!

On a side note, yesterday on CNBC I heard them talking about Novartis and how they were in a 'good position' because they still have a number of years before many of their products go 'generic'.
I always thought that because Ritalin has been around for so long that it was available as a generic but not so. It wasn't until asking the price of Ritalin [without] the 'co-pay' assistance I found out that there still is no generic equivalent!

Q: Is it even 'legal' to cut someone off from their medication(s) with absolutely no warning?
Shouldn't there be a 60-90 day notification of some sort?
I need some advice on the subject but can't afford it, and I don't know of any local legal advocate service for the poor here in Concord, NH (even though Franklin Pierce Law School is right here in town).

I live on a single Social Security Disability payment each month and my only semi-asset is the 2000 Toyota Camry that was my father's until he passed away last April, so I live on the 'edge' of disaster constantly.

Recently I went without my [2] blood pressure meds for around 3 weeks because I couldn't afford the $8 they cost at Wal-Mart. You see by the first week of each month I'm almost out of money, so if my meds run out during the mid-to latter part of the month I'm 'SOL'.

Not having Ritalin manifests itself in a number of ways, and the main thing is motivation and being able to focus on one thing at a time (for a meaningful period of time). I've done more sitting in my chair watching TV [lately] with the PC three feet away and having absolutely no desire to make the effort to get up and use it.
I never noticed the effect while I was taking Ritalin, but after the first day without it all I felt like doing was sleeping. Then as the days went on a general malaise set in and I've found myself mostly sitting, and frequently having bouts of extreme sadness and feeling hopeless. Of course that exacerbates my chronic depression and anxiety.

One health emergency or car repair away from an even worse standard of living.

Actually, many of those things have already happened to a certain degree, which results in bills having to be put off, going without medication and living off the cheapest foods which are largely high in carbohydrates/fat. And don't forget the harassing phone calls (Concord Hospital!).
Right now it's 2 weeks into September and my car still isn't inspected because it needs rear brakes and I have just enough money left for the 'inspection' fee but not for the repairs.
(On the 'bright' side, I am saving on gas...)

Living with all this uncertainty just compounds the daily effects of my Depression. I've developed mental tricks to tolerate some of those by (now that I think about it, I don't at this moment know exactly how I deal with it). Some of the effects are undoubtedly manifested through my body as various maladies, and contribute to my 'dark days'.

It's so frustrating, the president and others in control seem to lie with impunity while the world falls apart, and the poor having many of the strands of their 'safety net' slashed by the Republican party in favor of more 'corporate welfare' and war costs. That frustration manifests itself in bad ways also.

The situation that our president has lied his way into stabs at me like a knife, and there seems to be no hope of things getting better for a long time. He and his surrogates continue to lie with impunity, playing out the clock until finally they will be gone and will try to pass the blame.
And the way things are these days, with the majority of the MSM too obliged to their corporate overlords to challenge BushCo's lies, they'll probably carry the president's water/message and blame Democrats in some absurd way.

Since Bush wormed his way into office, life for people like me has gone steadily downhill.
Cutting money for social programs while literally throwing money at 'big business' and the ultra-rich. Much of that is 'war profiteering' for friends and associates of the Bush/Cheney families.
I'm actually surprised crime rates aren't up dramatically with people claiming that "if the President and Attorney General (and so many others) can break the law and nothing happens to them why can't we?"

Here's the main reason that we're still in the quagmire called Iraq:
Republicans who continue to support Bush [period]. If not for their votes supporting Bush the war would be much further along towards some kind of conclusion.

To add to the outside influences, I've had a new neighbor for some months now. He's in his 20s, a survivor of brain surgery, a budding 'rapper', and fresh from Brooklyn, NY.
Now the previous occupant of the apartment was very quiet and respectful of his neighbors.
Jahar, on the other hand is not. He's got a big boom box that serves as his 'alarm clock' and when it comes on the bass is cranked all the way up and the thump makes it so that his neighbors can't enjoy what they're doing. A number of times the 'alarm' has gone off and he wasn't even there!
He's come up with some really childish excuses and came down knocking on my door recently babbling something about how he was sorry and that he 'cut the wires' and that it wouldn't happen again... but I hadn't heard a thing and didn't know what he was talking about. The very next weekend at around 10:30-11:00 PM the thing started blasting, I went up and knocked at his door (at times using a 'mule kick') but he wouldn't come to the door (as usual).
He's around 5'10" and 240 lbs. and he told me he was associated with a big gang in NYC so I don't know why he avoids coming to the door, but he told me later he was 'sleeping' through the blasting music and me almost kicking in his door....right.
NOTE: While I was knocking at his door two young black men came out of the elevator and one asked if he could be in my 'movie' (I was using a video camera to record the attempt to get the music shut down). I told him what I was doing whereupon he started laughing at me. His companion was even bigger than Jahar and wearing a black head-thing like the 'gangsta's' wear.
I told the kid to STFU but he was cackling like a hyena and disappeared down the hall. He later must have gone back to Jahar's apartment and told him what I was doing because Jahar came and knocked on my door asking me what was going on. That's when he claimed he was 'sleeping' through the whole thing.

Jahar thinks the solution to all my problems is just that "You need to smoke some weed!" although I don't think he does.

I think that what I need is for him to grow the f* up and have some respect for his neighbors!

Why don't I just be done with it and demand the landlord do something further? Not sure, I guess I'd rather he just behave/grow up. I don't want him evicted, but while the music is blaring, I feel like ripping his face off!
I guess that I forgive too quickly and screw myself in the process.

I just want to live in peace. I don't bother anyone (I have a powerful stereo w/ a subwoofer that could shake the whole building, but I won't use it [here] because I know it would disrupt my neighbor's lives and I don't have any right to do that)

To date I've written two complaints to the landlord (Hodges Corp./C.A.T.C.H.]). Those weren't done until I'd spoken to him and to date he still doesn't seem to get it. I've waited to complain again because I'd rather he 'conform' than be evicted.

That's all for now*, writing this has taken a lot of energy (and 2-3 hours). I don't have the wherewithal (or the patience) to edit myself, so here it is, raw (rah-rah-rah! [Big Bambu]).

Speaking of raw and unedited, I heard something on Public Radio the other night about Jack Kerouac the author of the "On the road" series of novels, and how his style of writing incorporated 'stream of consiousness' writing. I'd like to learn more about that, but for me and people like me there's a huge gap between wanting to get something done and actually doing it. So many other things take up space in my consciousness and thoughts and 'wants' come and go like wisps of smoke or the wind at times.
And like smoke, if you try to grab it it just disappears.

Until next time...whenever that may be, and remember "life is but a dream"**


* This is typical, I'm about to stop writing then I get on another subject and the stream continues meandering.
** Thanks to Dr. Wayne Dyer.

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